May 5, 2018 marked 9 months that Matthew and I have been married. Spending them all with my best friend has made them the best 9 months of my life. Not everything has been sunshine and roses, that’s for sure, we don’t have a “perfect” life. No one does. But I wouldn’t change anything that happened in these past 9 months even if I could.
That being said, there are a lot of odd things I have learned in these past several months with my man. I’ve never been this close to a man before so that lead to some interesting revelations. I have also learned some interesting things about myself in these months that I have been a wife.
1. I am very emotional.
I’ve always known I was emotional. But I never realized just how emotional I actually am! I cry A LOT. Whether I see something cute, or I feel overwhelmed with love, or with stress. If I’m angry I cry. If I imagine an unlikely scenario that is sad I cry. If I feel nostalgic I cry. If I see a happy or sad movie, I cry. I am a mess! I am a very happy girl with a blessed life who just happens to cry all the time LOL. And when you are married to a very logical person, that leads you to realize how emotional you are. I’ve found myself thinking more logically lately and being able to rationalize my way out of getting too emotional over things, which is good!
2. Boxers are the best pajamas.
I hate pajama pants. I dislike how they roll up when you are under the covers. I used to just wear a T-shirt to bed. My best friend told me she buys boxers and wears them to sleep in so I tried it out and it is glorious. It’s like baggy underwear and shorts wrapped up in one item of clothing!
3. Matthew loves when I wear T-shirts.
I read a book called “For Women Only”. The statistics in the book were based on thousands of males’ responses to surveys. At the end of her survey she included a fill-in-the-blank option where the men could write down “one thing they wish their wives knew but don’t want to tell them”. An overwhelming amount of written responses to that statement was that they wish their wives dressed nicely and looked more put together for them more often. It is so easy to throw your hair up in a messy bun, take off your makeup, and put on sweats when you get home from a long, busy day. But after reading that book, I limited the times I do that. I usually keep my cute outfits on at least until after Matthew is already home. However, the other day when I was wearing just a T-shirt and underwear, my hair was in a pony-tail, and I had pizza sauce on my face, Matthew told me I looked super adorable. I laughed because I thought he was joking! But he told me that he loves when I’m not trying to look good. When I am just being myself. So I guess I’m going to wear over-sized T-shirts and comfy sweats when I get home more often! (Oh and he said T-shirts are “very flattering” on me which is something I never expected to hear in my life!)
4. It’s so easy to hurt your husband’s feelings.
Most of us girls see men as tough guys who don’t let words affect them. A simple little comment can’t possibly make them upset, right? Wrong! In our first few weeks of marriage, Matthew mentioned to me a goal of his. Instead of being supportive and saying I’ll help him reach it, I just laughed and said OK. I wasn’t trying to be mean. I was messing with him. And I honestly had doubts he would reach his goal because he tried to reach that goal in the past and didn’t succeed. I basically insulted him and was the opposite of supportive. I saw him immediately shut down. I asked him what was wrong and he told me it really hurt him that the person he loves the most didn’t have faith in him. He was so hurt and upset. I felt awful! I didn’t realized my “tease” would have that much of an affect! Basically, men have feelings too and teasing can hurt them when it comes from someone they love and shows you don’t have faith in them.
5. You will argue over the stupidest things.
One time Matthew and I argued over an air freshener in my car. The argument lasted about an hour and we ended up missing church because of it, not even kidding. We ended up realizing how incredibly stupid the argument was and went to a park to just hang out with each other and relax. Once we realized we were incredibly dumb for getting so worked up over this air freshener, we laughed and enjoyed the rest of our day together. Just expect lots of weird arguments like that. They will happen but then you’ll realize it’s just not worth getting upset over.
Overall, marriage is weird and wonderful at the same time. Life with a man is full of surprises and learning opportunities. Yes you will fight, you will hurt each other’s feelings (hopefully on accident), and you will let each other down. But that’s normal! Just take those moments as opportunities to grow and become a better spouse. Being married to your best friend is worth it.